Obesity, Smoking, Substance Abuse: “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places”
MINDSET
Karen Stewart retired in October 2021, after more than 40 years of practicing psychology. She cares deeply about this planet and all of the people on it, especially the marginalized, socially excluded, and disenfranchised. She believes we are al one and we sink or swim together. She still has something to say.
Where to start? These issues are so complex and each bears its own unique features. But, like the country song says I believe they all stem from the same desire—for love, comfort, good feelings. The bad news is that food, cigarettes, and drugs are all pale substitutes for what we really long for and their pleasure lasts for a moment while we can bear their consequences for a lifetime.
The good news is that what we are searching for actually lies within us, if we only have the courage, patience, and wisdom to sift through the chaff to find it. Each of us is a miracle, each of us has a purpose, each of us is capable of making a difference in the world and we are all connected. When we live out of that knowledge we know love and that “peace which passes all understanding.”
Finding a source of meaning in our life is one of the most important aspects of healing from our dependence on externals to make us happy. For some that meaning is clear and obvious, for others it takes much healing to find it. Often we must be willing to face great pain in order to work through old issues of loss, abandonment, shame, hurt, abuse or trauma. As healing ensues, we learn to appreciate ourselves, to love ourselves and to begin to care for ourselves.
Learning new patterns of eating, giving up cigarettes or drugs is hard work. Each of us must find a plan that works for us. What follows are a few things that I believe are important to the process.
Compassion
No one wants to be overweight. We know the costs to our health and well-being, No one, after the initial “feeling cool” wants to smoke. It’s unhealthy, expensive and socially isolating. No one wants to be addicted to drugs—for the health, economic, and legal consequences.
Too often people who have never struggled with such issues look with judgment on those who do. While everyone must in fact bear the responsibility for their actions, judgment of others or ourselves is of no help and in fact can send us into a spiral of feelings likely to lead to indulging in our substance of choice. The reasons people are overweight, smoke, or abuse drugs are myriad and changing those patterns requires heroic action.
All too often those struggling have no compassion for themselves. They identify with the societal judgments that they are weak, lazy, inferior. Having compassion for ourselves as we struggle to change is of utmost importance.
Moving Toward Something Positive
Change is hard, but it is easier when we are moving toward a positive goal: being able to accomplish some activity with comfort and ease, feeling healthier, saving money, feeling clear and proud of being able to face each day without help from substances. Change that comes from depriving ourselves because we are bad is doomed to failure.
Love Yourself
Love yourself, just as you are, and out of that love treat yourself as you would treat a beloved child: give yourself good food to eat, play, exercise, get enough sleep, spend time with people who love and support you.
Start with Small Goals
Plan for success by starting with goals that you know you can accomplish. When you are confident with those accomplishments, then move on to bigger things.
Get Support
Join a group, on-line or in person, gather friends around you, get a coach or a therapist.
Forgive Yourself
When the inevitable slip up comes, “pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.” I often use the analogy of a child learning to walk. No one yells at the toddler when they fall, they just offer a little comfort and support in trying again.
Remember the Miracle That You Are
Our bodies are simply amazing. Take time to consider how we move, feel, hear and see. Think of our hearts, digestive tracts, nervous systems, lungs, muscles and bones. With care and luck our bodies can keep us going for 70 years or more. Webster defines sacred as “regarded with great respect and reverence by a particular religion, group or individual.” What if we believed that our body was sacred? How would we stand? Move? Would it change the way we live? Would it change the way we treat each other? For optimum health we must have a base that includes a sense of meaning and purpose in the world. Upon that foundation we add the traits of love, compassion, forgiveness, and gratitude. We develop a plan, starting small and gathering momentum. We get support from our friends and forgive ourselves when we slip up and then start again.
A little appreciated hidden health risk, observes Dr. Charles Ferzli of the TMJ & Sleep Therapy Centre in Cary, is poor sleep. “Indeed,” he says, “quality sleep is a critically important foundation for health, and poor sleep contributes directly to many serious diseases—including diabetes, heart disease, hypertension, depression, and more. It is during our nightly sleep cycle that our body regenerates and heals. And when that cycle is disrupted, it affects inflammatory processes in the body, contributing to disease and impairing our ability to heal.
“Plastic surgery is not a one-step solution to obesity. While body contouring procedures can provide transformative results, they have major limitations on how much fat they can safely remove. Further, not only does excess weight have serious health consequences, but obese patients are at greater risk of complications during and after surgery.”
“Any conversation about the risk of so-called ‘silent diseases,’ will inevitably lead to a discussion of hormones and hormone imbalance,” observes Dr. Jennifer Burch of Central Compounding Pharmacy in Durham. “Osteoporosis, diabetes, hypertension, heart disease—all these conditions are influenced in significant ways by our hormones, and particularly by hormone imbalances.
“One lesson I’ve learned in my 29 years in this business,” says Bill Dolch, “is that most people are unaware of the toxins they’re exposed to in their own homes.” Mr. Dolch is the owner of Certified Indoor Air, Inc., of the Triangle, a company providing comprehensive mold testing and air quality inspections in the Greater Triangle area.
In today’s world, many diseases remain silent until they reach advanced stages. Conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, sleep apnea, obesity, and chronic stress quietly undermine our health without immediate symptoms. These hidden threats, compounded by drug side effects and environmental toxins, pose significant challenges for diagnosis and treatment.
When parents and caregivers think about hidden threats to their children, social media and messaging is a huge source of anxiety for many. At a time when many adults are themselves feeling more isolated and reports of childhood anxiety are rising, it is right to feel cautious. At the end of July, the Senate passed a bipartisan bill proposing new safety and privacy regulations for minors on social media and on-line communication platforms. This work was fueled in large part by testimonies from families whose children succumbed to bullying, harassment, and other negative impacts of on-line networks. While this legislation…
Among the more challenging aspects of my work,” notes Dr. Gregg, “are the risks involved when a patient has an underlying disease, such as diabetes.
“Diabetes patients,” she explains, “have significantly higher risks from surgery because of their high blood sugar levels, especially when the disease is not well controlled. There is an increased risk of infection, slower wound healing, and potential kidney and heart problems. So it is critically important that we evaluate each patient’s case carefully, make sure they are aware of these increased risks, and—most importantly—that we get clearance from the physician helping them manage their diabetes….
Founded in 1935, after a meeting between two strangers in Akron, Ohio, Alcoholics Anonymous has helped save and impact countless lives since its inception. Through its unique approach in utilizing a “spiritual solution to a medical problem,” the organization’s famous 12-Step Program has spawned other peer-to-peer “Anonymous” groups with the same basic principle that only those similarly afflicted can truly comprehend a mutual malady. This type of support transcends religious, racial, socioeconomic, and cultural differences, as reflected in A.A.’s two million active members across 120,000 groups in 180 countries. At its core, A.A. is a process by which people get…
I believe most of us are walking around carrying some kind of pain. We may experience the loss of a beloved partner, whether through a breakup or death. Many of us grieve parents, grandparents, children, friends, or other loved ones. Some of us have lost jobs or a place to live. Many of us have experienced diminishments to our health or way of life. We may have lost our innocence through betrayal or emotional, physical, or sexual abuse in a relationship that should have been safe. We all have our share of pain. Even if we have support at the…
“Not only is the skin our largest organ but, for the careful observer, it often reveals vital information about an array of diseases that, in early stages, are free of symptoms,” observes Dr. Gregory Wilmoth of Southern Dermatology and Skin Cancer Center in Raleigh.
We tend to think that menopause is all about hormones, right? Therefore, taking hormones should provide relief for hot flashes, vaginal dryness, weight gain, moodiness, hair loss, and more. As a physician who has been prescribing bio-identical hormone therapy (BHRT) for women for nearly two decades, I can say that prescription hormones alone often provide only partial answers.
“Typically, depression weakens the ability of the patient to manage and moderate the pain they’re experiencing, so they often slip into a loop: increasing pain induces more severe depression which intensifies the pain.”
